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Using Trump Logic: The Worlds Problems Solved!

6/26/2020

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By Bruce Thompson

Bruce is an adjunct instructor of philosophy at Palomar College. His Ph.D. is from the University of Colorado. His major emphasis in philosophy is critical thinking, formal logic, and American pragmatism. He is also a poet, violinist, and raiser of back yard chickens.

Please Note: At the end of this piece, Bruce invites you to write your own contributions of Trump logic. Please feel free to submit them to VoterBeat if you feel inspired. 

Using Trump Logic: The World's Problems Solved!
Trump logic solves nearly all of the world’s problems:

Global Warming: The reason our country is having so many heat waves is because we have so many more thermometers! More than any other country! If we stopped looking at thermometers, we’d have very few days over 80 degrees, if any.

Illegal Immigration: If we stopped checking people’s immigration status, we would find a lot less illegal immigration.

Obesity: The reason the United States has an obesity problem is because we have so many scales; more than any other country! If we just had fewer scales we have very few people who were overweight, if any.

Police Violence: The reason we have so much police violence is because we have so many body cams and cell phones. If we had fewer body cams and cell phones, we’d have a lot less police violence, if any.

Question: How would Donald Trump go about changing a light bulb?
Answer: “The reason we have so many burned out light bulbs in the United States is because we have so many light bulb sockets! More than any other country! If we had fewer light bulb sockets, we’d have very few burned out light bulbs, if any.”

The reason the United States has had so many Black Democratic presidents is because we have so many Black Democratic voters. If we just had no way for Blacks and Democrats to vote, we’d have had very few Black Democratic presidents, if any.
​
[Some of these "Trump logic" jokes deserve separate attribution. But, once you get the pattern, they almost write themselves. Please add more.]
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