By Dick Eiden
Dick is a poet, attorney, and political activist living in Vista, California.
Dick is a poet, attorney, and political activist living in Vista, California.
The Attorney Client Privilege
It was a great gig representing Tony and his crew,
except the midnight phone calls. "We're having a meet,
we need our lawyer. Get your sleazy ass down here."
I don’t care he calls me names, the money is good,
I got bills, and I think he likes me.
But I hate the threats. Most lawyers don’t worry
about their kneecaps, or walking out
to get the morning paper on the driveway.
I get it - don’t fuck up! You don’t have to remind me.
And the late night phone calls.
I go to sleep between nine and ten
so getting out of bed and driving down
to the Bada Bing at 1 a.m. is no fun,
even when dancers flash titties
as their lawyer walks by, half-asleep
on the way to the office.
I keep the hookers out of jail.
I know their real names.
They aren't all hookers of course -
students, artists, aspiring actresses,
models.
So the boys talk some business
and I try not to listen unless they need advice
about something I don't want to know.
It's all hypothetical, of course, stuff
you’d never really do, right?
But if nobody believes that hypothetical shit -
their lawyer was present, Consigliere I guess
they think they can just tell the cops
"my lawyer was present" and that
will put things to rest.
We'll see.
April 2018
except the midnight phone calls. "We're having a meet,
we need our lawyer. Get your sleazy ass down here."
I don’t care he calls me names, the money is good,
I got bills, and I think he likes me.
But I hate the threats. Most lawyers don’t worry
about their kneecaps, or walking out
to get the morning paper on the driveway.
I get it - don’t fuck up! You don’t have to remind me.
And the late night phone calls.
I go to sleep between nine and ten
so getting out of bed and driving down
to the Bada Bing at 1 a.m. is no fun,
even when dancers flash titties
as their lawyer walks by, half-asleep
on the way to the office.
I keep the hookers out of jail.
I know their real names.
They aren't all hookers of course -
students, artists, aspiring actresses,
models.
So the boys talk some business
and I try not to listen unless they need advice
about something I don't want to know.
It's all hypothetical, of course, stuff
you’d never really do, right?
But if nobody believes that hypothetical shit -
their lawyer was present, Consigliere I guess
they think they can just tell the cops
"my lawyer was present" and that
will put things to rest.
We'll see.
April 2018
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